Releasing Our Adult Children to God’s Care
This post is part of a 4-part series on Parenting Adult Children with Grace and Trust. Over the series, we’ll explore how to release them to God’s care, guide without controlling, model godly living, and love unconditionally while praying faithfully.
If your church is looking to equip parents for this unique and often challenging season, the Biblical Living Center offers a 1-day seminar designed to encourage and strengthen families through biblical teaching and practical tools. Contact us to learn more about bringing this workshop to your community!
If you’ve ever looked around a newly quiet house and thought, “Is this what they call the empty nest?”—you’re not alone.
The transition to parenting adult children can feel bittersweet. But what if the “empty nest” isn’t empty at all? What if it’s fulfilled
The Birdhouse Isn’t Empty—It’s Fulfilled
Imagine a mama bird who carefully builds her nest, lays her eggs, feeds her chicks, and teaches them how to flap their wings. Now, imagine if those birds never left the nest. They just sat there… full-grown, feathers everywhere, trying to cram into a space meant for babies. That would be weird.
There’s even an old saying:
“An eagle that doesn’t eventually leave the nest is sometimes called a turkey.”
The goal of parenting was never to keep the nest full—it was always to fill the sky with wings.
You’re not losing your children—you’re releasing them into God’s hands and purposes.
It’s Okay to Mourn
This season comes with grief, too. As Jeremiah writes in Lamentations 3:19–24, loss feels heavy:
“My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me.”
But even as we mourn the changes—the empty rooms, the holidays without all the chairs filled—God invites us to hope:
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end.”
God’s love for your children, and for you, remains steady even when life feels shaky.
Bring your sadness to Him. He sees it, He cares, and He comforts (Isaiah 41:10).
God’s Design for Their Independence
When your child steps into adulthood, it’s not rejection—it’s a sign that they are maturing.
Genesis 2:24 teaches:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Leaving isn’t rebellion. It’s part of growing up and forming their own identity, their own walk with God.
You planted seeds of instruction (Proverbs 22:6), and now you trust the Holy Spirit to water and grow them. Independence allows your children to move from a secondhand faith to a personal one, rooted in Christ.
It’s not just about their future careers or families—it’s about Kingdom participation. Whether they’re teaching in classrooms, working in hospitals, raising families, or serving in neighborhoods you’ll never visit, they carry the Gospel with them (Matthew 5:13–16).
Their story isn’t ending—it’s entering a new chapter.
Church Planting… but with your Kids
Think of it this way:
Sending your adult child into the world is a bit like a church planting another church.
When a church plants a new congregation, it doesn’t mourn the departure forever—it celebrates the multiplication.
It prays for, supports, and trusts that the new church will flourish—independent but connected.
Your adult children are like that. You’re not losing them; you’re seeing the fruit of your labor multiply in ways you might not even witness.
Trusting God’s Work in Their Lives
Here’s the beautiful truth:
“He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” — Philippians 1:6
God started the work in your children’s hearts—and He’s not done yet. Like Hannah with Samuel (1 Samuel 1:27–28), you can entrust them back to the Lord.
Even when the world feels dangerous or their choices seem uncertain, God is in control. His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8–9), and His plans are for their good (Romans 8:28).
Your role shifts from intervention to intercession. You move from giving directions to offering prayers. Parenting doesn’t end—it transforms.
Their Mission Is Bigger Than Ours
The goal isn’t for them to fulfill our dreams—but to glorify God.
“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it…” — Genesis 1:28
They carry the light of Christ into places we might never reach. Their work, relationships, and lives are to reflect God’s goodness and advance His Kingdom (Matthew 28:19–20).
Ultimately, this journey isn’t about our names—it’s about God’s name (Ezekiel 36:22–23, Philippians 2:9–11).
Just like arrows in the hands of a warrior, our children are designed to be sent out (Psalm 127:3–5). Not stored in the quiver, but released into the world to hit their mark.
Encouragement for Parents
You are not losing your child—you are partnering with God’s bigger story.
Their independence is a call to deeper trust and prayer.
God held them as children, and He holds them still.
Take a Simple Step Today:
Reflect on one way you’ve seen God’s faithfulness in your child’s life—even if it’s small. Then, take a few minutes to pray, releasing them to God’s care again.
And remember:
When the nest looks empty, lift your eyes.
The sky is full of wings.