“Put Your Oxygen Mask on First”: A Biblical Case for Self-Care to Love Well
I’ve had seasons of abiding in Jesus deeply—and others, I’m ashamed to admit, when it’s felt hard to connect with Him at all. I’m not sure which comes first—the distance or the difficulty—but when crisis hits (what Jeremiah calls “the heat,” Jer 17:7–8), I slide into management mode. I start living as if the old slogan were true: If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.
In those moments I forget God’s constant invitation to come: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden…” (Matt 11:28–30); “Come, everyone who thirsts…” (Isa 55:1–3); “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink” (John 7:37); “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace” (Heb 4:16). Feeling the weight of responsibility for my family, my church, and those I counsel, I white-knuckle my way forward and try to help out of spiritual emptiness. That’s a dangerous place to be; empty people inevitably leak frustration and can wound the very ones they’re trying to serve.
A good friend and fellow elder often reminds me, “We forget…and we forget that we forget.” So consider this post a reminder for both of us: to return and abide in Jesus, so that whatever we offer others flows from what we are actively receiving from Him.
You’ve heard the flight attendant’s line a thousand times: “Put your own oxygen mask on first, then help others.” Some Christians bristle at that—doesn’t Scripture call us to deny ourselves and serve? Others sense that running on fumes can’t be what God intends.
The good news: the oxygen-mask analogy has a firm biblical footing—not as self-centered self-care, but as stewardship of your body and soul for the sake of faithful love. Below is a deeper look you can use for your own heart and to counsel others.
1) What This Analogy Is(and Isn’t)
Is: Honoring the way God made you—an embodied soul (Gen 2:7)—so that your ministry flows from communion with Him (John 15:5).
Isn’t: Permission for self-indulgence or escape. Biblical rest is unto love (Gal 5:13).
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)
“No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…” (Eph 5:29)
Caring for your health—sleep, prayer, nourishment, limits—is not selfishness; it’s obedience that equips you to love.
2) Jesus’ Pattern: Ministry from Communion, Not Depletion
“He would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” (Luke 5:16)
“Come away by yourselves… and rest a while.” (Mark 6:31)
Early morning solitude shaped His assignments for the day (Mark 1:35–38).
Jesus often embraced limits: He left crowds unhealed, slept in storms, and refused to be driven by urgency. His service flowed from fellowship with the Father.
Oxygen mask, biblically: be sustained by God (Word, prayer, ordinary creaturely care) so that your help is Spirit-filled, not flesh-driven.
3) God’s Design: Overflow, Not Emptiness
“My cup overflows.” (Ps 23:5)
“Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:38)
“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
We comfort others with the comfort we received. (2 Cor 1:3–4)
When the cup is dry, what spills is irritability, hurry, and self-reliance. The most loving thing you can sometimes do is return to the Source.
4) A Case Study: Elijah Under the Broom Tree (1 Kings 19)
Burned out and despairing, Elijah begged to die. God did not scold him into tougher service. He sent sleep and freshly baked bread—twice—before recommissioning him. God meets discouraged servants with rest and nourishment and then sends them back with clarity.
Noticing God’s Provision in Exhaustion
When have you felt “under the broom tree”—spent, anxious, or done? What were the telltale signs (sleep loss, irritability, numbness, overwork)?
Looking back, where did you see God provide in simple, ordinary ways—sleep, a meal, a timely text, a quiet drive, an encouraging friend, a Scripture that stuck (cf. 1 Kings 19:5–8)?
What forms of care did God place within reach that you resisted (rest, help from others, time in the Word, saying no)? Why did you resist?
Elijah said, “I, even I only, am left” (1 Kings 19:10). When you’re depleted, what similar stories do you tell yourself (“It’s all on me,” “Nothing will change”)? How does God’s response correct that story?
5) “Deny Yourself” Doesn’t Mean “Neglect Yourself”
Yes, Jesus calls us to self-denial (Luke 9:23; Phil 2:3–4). But biblical self-denial is dying to self-rule, not denying creaturely needs. You lay down pride, not protein; ego, not sleep. You embrace limits so you can love within them.
Think Good Samaritan (Luke 10): he had oil, wine, a donkey, and margin. His preparedness made mercy possible.
6) Bearing Burdens Wisely
Paul holds a productive tension:
“Bear one another’s burdens.” (Gal 6:2)
“Each will have to bear his own load.” (Gal 6:5)
In plain terms: help carry what is crushing for others while responsibly shouldering your daily God-given load. Neglecting your load eventually makes you unable to bear anyone else’s.
7) A Simple “Oxygen Mask” Rule of Life
Here’s a modest, non-heroic rhythm that keeps ministry sustainable:
Daily
Unhurried Scripture & prayer (even 10–20 focused minutes in Psalms/John).
Real meals + water; modest movement (a brisk 10–20-min walk).
Guard a sane bedtime; devices off before sleep.
One relational touchpoint (check-in with a spouse/friend).
Weekly
Lord’s Day worship; receive the means of grace.
One Sabbath-like block of rest/refreshment (worship, delight, no “shoulds”).
Review commitments; say no to what doesn’t fit your call in this season.
Seasonal
Half-day retreat for prayer and planning.
Medical/dental checkups; attend to lingering health issues.
A realistic vacation (not merely relocation of stress).
What other rythyms of rest and replenishment can you incorporate into your life?
Serving from Fullness
Before stepping into heavy care (trauma, crisis, conflict): pray with someone, do a brief Scripture dip (e.g., Ps 23; Isa 41:10), hydrate, breathe.
After: debrief, pray, and decompress—don’t sprint to the next thing.
8) Quick Diagnostic: Do You Need to “Put the Mask On”?
I’m consistently irritable or numb in care conversations.
Scripture feels like duty; prayer feels impossible.
I’m skipping meals/sleep “to get more done.”
I resent the people I’m serving.
Trusted friends/pastors say, “You seem fried.”
If two or more resonate, it’s time to refuel.
9) Common Objections—Answered
“Isn’t this selfish?”
No. It’s stewardship for love’s sake (Eph 5:29; Mark 12:31). Self-centeredness hoards; stewardship prepares to give.
“But needs are urgent!”
Triage wisely. Even Jesus walked away to pray (Luke 5:16). Urgency must not replace obedience.
“My season won’t allow rest.”
Some seasons (newborns, caregiving) are heavy. Shrink the practices; don’t drop them. Five minutes of honest prayer is better than none. Ask for help!!
A Gentle Next Step
If this resonated because you’re already tired, you’re not alone. We’ve gathered practical counsel for recognizing and responding to exhaustion here: Burnout: How to Notice It—and What to Do Next.
We also recommend a great book called “The Whole Life” by Eliza Huie and Esther Smith
May the Lord restore your soul (Ps 23:3) and make your cup overflow for the good of those you love.